Commitment Phobia

On a more serious note…

If there is one thing I have learned as I have reached an age in which I am classified as a “single adult”, it is how ridiculous the whole “single adult” scene is. And I’m not just talking about the secular scene. Christian and secular alike are hugely lacking. The absence of God in the area of relationships is strikingly obvious, and I am determined to not be a part of it as much as possible.

I have realized several things that it was only possible to realize through experience. Now I have a better understanding and wish to steer through this point of life with God driving in an attempt to avoid twenty-seven car pileups. 🙂

First, I have learned that obedience is key. That will solve all of my problems. A simple disobedience will absolutely make for tons of trouble it is impossible to even imagine at the beginning of a situation. Second, even if single people are Christians, it doesn’t mean they automatically deserve to be considered as part of a potential relationship. Third, and most important, God has it all in His hands. It is very hard to trust, especially the older I get, but I wouldn’t have it any other way really. Too much trouble otherwise.

Some observations on this generation:

“At first he is all hearts and flowers, candy, cards, presents, dinner and dancing, until she starts to like it and believes he really cares for her–and he does. But can he commit to just one? To her alone? Or is he always scanning the horizon for something (as opposed to someone) “better”. -John Mallon on the increasing epidemic of unintentional men

“To commit oneself to marriage is to give oneself in trust, to put one’s life at the disposal of the other. It is, in fact, actually to forfeit and to consign oneself to the charge of another person. One who commits his way to the Lord also does just this. No one will do that who does not trust Him. Whom do we trust? On whose integrity, veracity, justice, or even faithful friendship can we rely? Am I worthy of another’s trust? Am I a person in whom confidence can be reposed?

Commitment entails the acceptance of responsibility. It imposes a task and a trust. It is a promise to do something, a pledge to pursue a certain course. To love is to make a commitment. Merely to make love while refusing commitment is a purely selfish act, irresponsible, and finally destructive.”

-Elisabeth Elliot what a big commitment marriage really is. No wonder people are afraid. However, if you are not ready for it, don’t even say to a girl that you are interested.

It isn’t all the fault of guy’s though. As girls, we have to demand that men be intentional with us. I believe we are supposed to leave it up to them to initiate and be sure that they are serious before getting into any sort of relationship.

So, that is the rant for today. I am sure there will be more to come on the subject however since I am reading a book on this topic.


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