Ouch

There is no distinction to be made between the spiritual and the secular. God applies to every area of life.

Making God first in our life is not about setting up a God idol in front of our eyes and trying as hard as we possibly can to see only it. It is about putting on the mindset of Christ. What do you think about this, God, should be the question/answer in all situations. This takes away so much defeat and frustration, because I don’t have the strength in and of myself to constantly keep this God image in front of my eyes. He applies to all of life.

He seems to be tearing down all semblances of control that I felt I had. Okay, so I could 1) get good grades in school and 2) control my emotions. I am such a ducks in a row type of person. I do not show feelings, because I am in control of them. I can get these good grades and get to the place in life I want to be. Well, He’s tearing both of these down right now. I feel like a wreck. What!? I have to pay attention to these crazy feelings and figure them out? I have to actually be in tune with my emotions. I am just not the typical girl. I like logic. Situation A presents itself, therefore, Solution B is what we do. Now that all my parameters and rulebooks and guidelines are out, I have to seek God in all of it, finding the balance between emotions and His will.

How long does this last…

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