Thinking A Lot

Do we, as humans, live in two seperate worlds? One in our heads, and the one we show to everyone else? I could write something in my notebook one night, very honestly stating how I am feeling. Yet, I can leave my room two seconds later and mask all of that over. So, what does that mean? We aren’t honest? I doubt it. I think it would be a bad idea to display every feeling I ever had. Definantly a bad idea….

I was talking to a friend, and I came to the conclusion that I love to write. However, I think there is a certain amount of repulsion among readers to honesty in today’s culture. People look at me and observe for a short time and make a conclusion. They look at my real, honest writing and probably wouldn’t believe we were the same person. So, is there some sort of difference between real life and life in my head? Does that make one of them a lie? Either I exaggerate greatly when I write, or I live a lie by not living what is in my head. Or I just choose to conquer the sinful thoughts of my mind and not live them out. In that case, I wonder if that makes most of my writing ugly. It is the baseness of my humanity with no editing involved. Maybe that is why there is repulsion to honesty in writing.

So, anyway, that is probably all over the place and crazy, but it is something I have been thinking a lot about-the promises and honesty of “the real world” and a sort of spiritual world.

I took these quotes from Sparky who had them posted on her blog. Very good ones!

“If I find in myself a desire which no experience in this world can satisfy, the most probable explanation is that I was made for another world.” ~Lewis

Another question I have been asking: Is this desire ever fulfilled in this world? Will we only be truly satisfied in heaven or is that fulness of hope and joy something that can be attained here in this world?

“Shall I tell you the secret of the whole world? It is that we have only known the back of the world. We see everything from behind, and it looks brutal. That is not a tree, but the back of a tree. That is not a cloud, but the back of a cloud. Cannot you see that everything is stooping and hiding a face? If we could only get round in front–”

Maybe this quote can answer the first? We can have that fullness of hope and joy, but we must learn to see things through the eyes of God-not human eyes.

Thankful: For the weekend! I am very ready for a break. I can hardly believe it. I do not have to get up early tommorrow. That is the first time probably since the semester started. How great it will be to sleep in with the curtains closed in my cozy bed. Which will have clean sheets by the way since I just put them in the washer. Hmm, except I don’t get home until late tonight which means they will still be wet. Therefore, I may not have those sheets. Okay, that was a sidetrack…


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