ddIt has been a while. About a year and a half in fact. I am surprised that I remembered all of my log in information for this website. Over the last year and a half, I moved with my husband to California where he was stationed in 29 Palms. We lived there for a year, nearly bored out of our minds in the arm pit of hte universe. I had my motorcycle and job at a local veterinary clinic to keep me company. We watched many movies and read a lot of books.
About this time last year, I found out that I was accepted to CSU’s veterinary program. I am about to start up my second semester of veterinary school in a week. So I am wondering why in the world I have decided to start up this blog again. I have two one year old labs, two cats, a husband, a really busy schedule with vet school class, homework, clubs, and foal care emergency care.
I have a lot that I am working through and I am not sure how to get it out except to just write. Sometimes that helps. Over the past few weeks, the love of my life has started to process a lot of things that he went through in Iraq. It has made our relationship really hard for the past few weeks. We had a pretty miserable Christmas and he missed our anniversary because he was disappearing after work for a few days. Thinking someone is out to kill him, saying I make his life miserable, depression.
It has been really hard. I’ve done some major reading, soul searching, and even seeking out some counseling for myself. I am attempting to find a balance between staying strong and being vulnerable to him in our relationship. Feeling his pain and trying to understand and keeping myself out of depression. Having hope for a brighter future and trying to understand I may always have a changed Luke. Wanting to stay and support him and wondering if all of this is worth it.